An Ode to Alexis

Alexis is 8 and also a boy. Sometimes, he puts on footie pajamas that are a bit too small for him and get all tight like a tent when zipped up. He does little acrobatic break dance moves and spins around and pauses on the floor, just to make me laugh.

After school everyday he has to take a poop. If you don´t know where Alexis is and you call out his name, usually you´ll here a muffled, high pitched "yes?" from behind a bathroom door. When you ask, "what are you doing?" he´ll shriek back, "pooping!"

Sometimes, Alexis fakes a poop. Yes, he FAKES a poop. There are lots of comic books in the bathroom and he loves to read them. He´ll jump around and hold his butt and say, "ooooh, ugh, I gotta poop, I gotta poop!" He´s realized that no one can deny you a poop. So, we let him go. 15 minutes later, we say, "Alexis, hurry up." And he responds, "I´m pooping."

Catherine has to bust the door open sometimes and Alexis will be sitting on the toilet, seat down, and reading a comic book. When he sees her he screams and she starts yelling at him in French. It´s hilarious.

Once I called him out when Catherine was gone because he was taking so long. I said, "Alexis, hurry up!" He said, "just a sec!" When he came out a few minutes later, I said, "You weren´t really pooping were you?" He said, "Yes!" I said, "No!" he said, "Yes! Then how come it smells so bad?"... : D

He always wants to win. When we play ping pong he always says, "but I´m to small to reach that," or he´ll botch the score. I taught him the "our team is boom, dynamite!" cheer and he sings, "Alexis is boom, dynamite!" all the time. I also taught him the Muhammad Ali quote, "I´m so fast, and you know I´m so pretty." So now, I´ll say the first part and he, in his best husky Ali voice says, "and you know I´m so pretty."

Once Louise was writing with a marker on some paper and the sound of it drove him nuts. All the sudden he yelled, "Louise, stop! Stop, stop, stop!" I said, "Alexis, relax, she can write if she wants," and he eyed her nervously as she put pen back to paper and the noise started again. Again he yelled out, "stop, no, stop!" I said again, "Alexis, she´s just writing," So he yells, with a look of complete desperation on his face, "no, no, mom doesn´t let me!" Apparently, the noise really bugged him. We all started cracking up because of course, Catherine has never said to me, "oh, and Darb, please don´t let Alexis listen to Louise writen with markers on paper."

On Saturday I took the kids ice skating and after about 15 minutes, Alexis skated right up to me and said, "Darby, thank you so much for bringing us here." Like he´d just realized this was the best day of his life or something. My heart smiled.

One of my favorite moments with him of all time occurred about two weeks ago...

We were driving back to Tajonar from school, just the two of us, I don´t remember where Louise was. Alexis asked me to put in a tape that a past au pair had made with Eminem on it. He loves Eminem. I always thought it was because of his older brother Max, but it turns out that´s only part of it.

As the song played, he piped up from the back seat, "Darby..."

"Yes, Alexis," I answered.

"Darby," he continued, "do you know what I asked for for Los Reyes?"

"No Alexis, what do you want?"

"I asked for the Sean Paul CD and the Eminem CD."

"Oh really? I knew you liked Eminem, but Sean Paul too, how come?"

"I just do," he said softly, like there was a bit more to it.

"Do you like to rock out when you hear them? I know I do to my favorite songs."

"Well," he started shyly, "when I hear their songs, I feel like I´m on stage, like it´s a dream and I´m singing on stage like them."

How do you respond to that? I think that´s one of the best things that´s ever come out of his mouth. I just said, "That´s awesome."

He got both CDs for Los Reyes and last night he asked me to sit in his room with him and listened to Sean Paul as he tried to learn the words and rap softly to himself. I think the story of a poor white boy growing up in Detroit trying to make it as a rapper is just as inspirational as a rich French boy trying to rap in another language in Tajonar. We could call the movie "8 Kilometer." Alexis is boom, dynamite!